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Positive Parenting Tips

7/21/2022

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From the moment you first set eyes on your child until approximately one year of age, there are some tried and true parenting  approaches you can use to help your baby develop and grow. ​
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1. Calm your baby by talking with her. Hearing your voice helps her to feel safe.
2. Help your child set the foundation for learning language by repeating back "baby babble." Repeating the sounds your child makes will improve their language acquisition!
3. Another important way to help your child understand language and sound is to read to them, at least once a day, in a calm environment.

4. Brain development improves when children are exposed to music (and not just classical music!). Sing to your baby, or dance around in front of them while playing your favourite songs. You can even gently dance with them in your arms to teach them rhythm (assuming you have some!).
5. Babies love praise and loving attention. Give as much as you can!
6. Increase your baby's sense of security by cuddling and holding her, just because.
7. Recognize your baby's energy cycles, and take a break from play activities if your baby becomes tired or fussy. This protects (or creates) the link in your child's mind between play and pleasure.
8. At this stage, distraction works better than discipline. If you child insists on pulling on the table cloth or slamming kitchen cabinets, distract her with toys and move her to a safer play area.
9. Don't feel guilty if you feel you can't give anymore. Needing a break is a normal , and finding a way to take some time for yourself is essential. (Easier said than done? Yes!)

Adapted from Infants (0-1 years) | CDC
​
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Want to learn more?
CDC’s “Learn the Signs. Act Early.” Campaign
For more details on developmental milestones, warning signs of possible developmental delays, and information on how to help your child’s development, visit the “Learn the Signs. Act Early.” campaign website.
CDC’s Parent Information (Children 0―3 years)
This site has information to help you learn how to give your child a healthy start in life.
CDC’s Essentials for Parenting Toddlers and Preschoolers
Learn ways you can help build a safe, stable, and nurturing relationship with your child.
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11 things you probably didn’t know about babies

6/16/2022

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​Irregular breathing is normal
Sleeping babies can scare the heck out of you by pausing without a breath for 5-10 seconds. This is normal! And when babies are excited or they have just stopped crying, the can take more than 60 breaths per minute. (Of course, if your child stops breathing for more than 10 seconds or is turning blue, this is a medical emergency.)
 
Taste buds everywhere
Babies are born with the same number of taste buds as an adult, but unlike the taste sensors of an adult, they are located on the tonsils and the back of the throat!
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 Hold the salt
Newborns cannot taste salt. They can taste sweet, bitter and sour, but their ability to taste salt only starts around 5 months of age. The ability to distinguish between sweet and bitter/sour makes sense, since the breast milk of a healthy mom is sweet.
 
Babies like familiar tastes
Babies tend to prefer the foods their mom ate while pregnant and breastfeeding. This is a good thing to think about if you hope to encourage healthy eating (for yourself and your baby!).
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Dry eyes?
Babies start to cry around 2-3 weeks of age, but their tears do not show up until they are a month old. 

Looking to the right
85% of newborns prefer to turn their head to the right when lying on their back. This preference appears to be genetic and lasts for a few months. Some researchers think that this right-side bias might be linked to right- or left-handedness (Estimates of the number of naturally left-handed people varies form 9-12 percent globally). 
 
Dreading late afternoons and evenings?
Have you started to dread the late afternoon and evening? It might be because this is the prime time for babies to be fussy. Sometimes there is no obvious reason and there is nothing you can do to help it stop. Just reassure them that you are there for them. Babies can have bad days, too!
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 Month two is going to be noisy
Babies will cry more than any other time when they reach 46 weeks after gestation. This means that full-term babies will enter this stage at approximately 6-8 weeks old. For preemies, this stage occurs when they are older since they were born earlier. By 3 months after gestation, this period of intense crying tends to pass. Whew!
​Babies have more nerve cells than  adults.
When babies are born, they have all the nerve cells they will ever have, even though their brain is much smaller than an adult sized brain. As we age, the neurons that die are not replaced, so babies have far more of these cells than an adult.
 
Not all birthmarks are permanent
Researchers do not know what causes birth marks that disappear over time such as pink or red areas often on the forehead, eyelids, bridge of the nose, or back of the neck (sometimes known as “stork bites” or “angel kisses”), or bluish patches on the back or bottom (known as Mongolian spots), but they are harmless.
* Spots that start to change shape or colour may be something else. Never self-diagnose any skin conditions. Always check with your doctor.
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 Babies can scare themselves.
Babies can startle themselves with their own cries! If you see your newborn fling their arms out to the sides, hands open, then quickly close them up and tuck them back in toward their body, you’ve just seen their startle response. Babies can also react in fear to loud noises, strong scents, bright lights and sudden motion. Researchers think that this startle reflex, known as the Moro reflex, might have developed as a warning signal to mom that a young monkey was off-balance and needed to be helped immediately.
If you have any questions or concerns about your baby’s health, contact a health-care professional. The content of this article is meant to entertain and not to diagnose.
  
Want to learn more?
BabyCentre: "Developmental milestones: taste."
KidsHealth: "Looking at Your Newborn: What's Normal," "What Are Taste Buds?" "Birthmarks."
Menella, J. Pediatrics, June 2001.
AboutKidsHealth: "Eye Concerns in Newborn Babies," "Crying,"
LiveScience: "11 Facts Every Parent Should Know About Their Baby's Brain."
Michel, G. Science, May 8, 1981.
Neuroscience For Kids, University of Washington: "Brain Development."
Johns Hopkins Medicine: "The Growing Child: Newborn."
Futagi, Y. International Journal of Pediatrics, 2012.
 
Images: Getty Images
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What to do when you feel overwhelmed with new motherhood: The STOP skill

5/27/2022

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(Adapted from The Highs and Lows of Early Motherhood | Psychology Today)
The arrival of your baby brings along intense feelings and emotions, and sometimes all the focus on the new baby leaves new moms out in the cold. ​
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Many new moms feel (or are made to feel) that their ups and downs are somehow an indication that they are not a good mother, and they will trudge along believing that suffering is somehow noble or necessary. Make no doubt about it, becoming a new mom IS difficult, and you will find that you are able to do things you never thought possible (like function on no sleep). If you are able to carve a bit of time out to take care of yourself, you will feel much better. This is especially important for those of us that don’t have a support network to lean on.

You might be feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, angry and sad one minute, and ecstatic with joy and love the next. In this whirlwind of emotions, your reactions might not always be as Zen as you had envisioned they would be while reading all those parenting books a few months before your baby arrived.
One strategy from Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT), called the STOP skill, might help you to better manage your ever-changing emotional states and better tolerate stress.
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Solara Calderon, Ph.D., explains the STOP skill:

The STOP skill allows you to temporarily pause in order to take an objective, outsider look at what you are experiencing before you choose how to react. This skill is broken down into four steps:

1. Stop. Visualize a stop sign and physically freeze.

2. Take a step back from the situation. Take a break. This break can be momentary or longer if needed. Take some deep breaths. Splash some cool water on your face. Drink a glass of water. Look out the window.

3. Observe. Notice what is going on inside you and also outside you in your surroundings. How are you feeling? What are you thinking? What role are others playing in this situation? Learning how to notice yourself from the perspective of an objective observer is a skill that can be developed with intention.

4. Proceed mindfully. Before reacting out of intense emotion, ask yourself, “What do I need right now? What will be helpful to me at this moment?” You have the power to act with awareness. Maybe you need to ask a friend to drop off some groceries. Maybe you need to strap the baby into a carrier and take a walk around the block.
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This method helps you to ACT instead of REACT. It gives you some perspective and, most importantly, allows you to focus back on yourself and your needs so that you can be the best mom possible. Everyone benefits from a happy mom!
Want to learn more?
Linehan, M. M. (2015). DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, second edition (2nd ed.). Guilford Publications.
For those suffering from prolonged feeling of sadness, anger, hopelessness or fear, you might be experiencing PPD, or Postpartum Depression. Developing skills like the STOP skill is not enough to address the emotions you are feeling, and you should reach out for help from friends, family members, new mom groups or a medical professional. What you are feeling is legitimate and you need support. Don’t stop until someone takes you seriously and offers you the help you need.
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What do “Green Certifications” mean when buying a crib?

4/12/2022

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Adapted from Making Sense of Green Certifications – GreenGuard, Floorscore and More at https://www.mychemicalfreehouse.net
Making sense of Green Certifications can be very confusing. In some cases, it can also be misleading.
​Green Guard Certifications inform consumers that the product that they might like to buy has low levels of volatile organic compounds (VOCs). As a point of reference, most houses in North America have a total VOC level of about 200 μg/m3, and the outdoor VOC level is about 20 μg/m3. Green Guard gives certification to products with up to 500 μg/m3 total VOCs and GreenGuard Gold certifies products with up to 220 μg/m3 total VOCs. 
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​It is important to remember that VOCs are cumulative, so a GreenGuard Gold certified crib that is off-gassing at up to 220 μg/m3 total VOCs plus a GreenGuard Gold certified mattress that is off-gassing at up to 220 μg/m3 total VOCs starts to add up to a lot of toxin exposure. A bit like that “new car smell” or the smell of a newly renovated house: the more off-gassing elements you have (carpets, paint, furniture, etc.), the more toxic the air. Ideally, the VOC levels inside our houses should not go above normal outdoor levels (of 20 μg/m3).
 
The problem with these “green” certifications is that you know that a product is below a certain threshold, but you have no idea by how much. And once manufacturers or retailers have certified products, they will no longer tell you the VOC level of their products, they will just hide behind their certification. For sensitive consumers (and I count new-borns and their tiny lungs in this category), this is very concerning.

​What these types of certifications DO NOT measure is other types of toxins, such as phthalates, biocides, flame retardants and heavy metals.
This means that a GreenGuard Gold certified product CAN contain phthalates, biocides, flame retardants and/or heavy metals.
​Is it even possible to know what products are made with and to avoid toxins?

Yes, but it’s tricky.

​You need to look for manufacturers that don’t hide behind a certification, but that tell you exactly what their products are made with. If you can get your hands on their Safety Data Sheets (third-party testing results of product), even better.
What to look for:

​Zero- or Near Zero- VOC products: If no one can tell you exactly what a product is made with, don’t buy it! Ask to see their Safety Data Sheets to verify that the product has zero- or near zero-VOCs. If they can’t provide them, walk away. (Yes, this is the tricky bit because your options will shrink rapidly!)


Products that do not contain flame retardants, toxic metals and other toxic chemicals: Phthalates, biocides and flame retardants are not labelled as VOCs, but they can cause toxic reactions in high concentrations. These chemicals need to be disclosed (in Safety Data Sheets, for example) and avoided.
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​Unfortunately, you cannot completely trust retailers simply because they don’t have the information, or they are putting their trust in certifications. As a consumer, you need to dig deeper. Those tiny lungs are worth it.
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Why do babies wake frequently from sleep?

3/28/2022

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(Adapted from The science of healthy baby sleep - BBC Future)
​
Why do babies wake frequently from sleep? Their own protection! When young babies slip into deep sleep, or “slow wave sleep”, they can stop breathing. Babies have a built in protection: simply waking up. 
​If we prematurely (i.e., before they are developmentally ready) push a baby into this deep sleep, the risk of SIDS increases. One way parents were encouraged to create deep sleep was to put babies to sleep on their stomachs, something that is now considered dangerous. In fact, SIDS rates plummeted once world-wide campaigns advised parents to place babies on their back to sleep. (Stomach, or “prone”, sleeping makes SIDS 13 times more likely).
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Many parents worry that deep sleep is necessary for the healthy development of their baby, but scientists have NOT found a correlation between frequent waking and cognitive development, psychomotor development, behaviour, or emotional regulation. The total amount of sleep is important, not the amount of time a baby can sleep without waking.
So, you might be exhausted, but there’s no need to worry!

Want to read more?
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK513387/
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0140673603153238
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5051431/
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27492858/
https://publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article/142/6/e20174330/37494/Uninterrupted-Infant-Sleep-Development-and
https://publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article-abstract/130/4/643/30241/Five-Year-Follow-up-of-Harms-and-Benefits-of?redirectedFrom=fulltext
As always, if you are concerned about your baby’s behaviour or need advice, you should talk to your family doctor.
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Right to Repair is more than just a tech issue

2/22/2022

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You want to repair your iPhone. What about that wobbly crib? ​
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Most household goods end their life in a landfill.
The Right to Repair movement is a response to reduced access to the repair of technological parts and/or equipment, limiting the life span of a product that is dependent on the original manufacturers consent to repair, either by making the repair information or parts unavailable or inaccessible, or by enforcing “proprietary” rights. Advocates argue that being unable to fix something means you don't really own it. Seeing that most of our consumer goods are difficult or impossible to repair, the Right to Repair movement needs to be much more than a tech issue.

As furniture manufacturing has moved to a factory-built, mass-produced, “fast-furnishings” business model, consumers almost always purchase furniture that cannot easily or safely be repaired. This is largely the result of using engineered wood products, poor quality (and hard to find) hardware and one-off finishes. It is impossible for a consumer to speak with someone who can tell them what their furniture is made with and how to get a replacement part.
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Try it yourself. Go into a furniture store and really press the retailer to tell you what the furniture is made of. If you don’t accept the off-hand answer of “wood” or “fabric” or “paint”, you’ll quickly realize that the sales person has no idea what they are selling to you, and they certainly won’t be able to help you repair it. Now this might not be a big concern for those of you shopping for a kitchen table or bookshelf, but those of you shopping for items like baby furniture should be alarmed.

​Of course, the need to repair furniture on a mass scale (or throw it out) is a recent phenomenon. Until recently, furniture was built to last for generations. It was made of local materials by local artisans. It could be repaired and replacement parts could easily be obtained. When there was a problem with your furniture, you could go talk to the person who manufactured it or sold it to you, and they could help. And if you decided enough-is-enough and you fired it into the local landfill, it would decompose over time without any serious threat to the environment.
Today, consumers have filled their houses with wobbly furniture, chipped finishes and cracked parts that have no hope of being repaired. Right to Repair needs to extend to ALL consumer products.

Our baby crib manufacturing business recently received a phone call from a new father who needed his “big-box store” crib repaired. The store where he bought the crib had gone under, and the manufacturer was unreachable (not to mention on the other side of the planet). He could not find parts to repair the crib, and the cheap hardware that came with it had stripped the plywood screw holes. In desperation he called us to ask if there was anything we could do. We couldn’t repair the crib with any guarantees of safety because it was so poorly constructed. The materials used to build the crib couldn’t be repaired or recycled, and it was too dangerous to sell to someone else. As a result, this crib will spend years leaching toxic chemicals into a landfill site after less than 2 years of use.
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Solid wood cribs are robust and will last for decades!
It should be illegal to sell something as huge and resource intensive as a crib with a lifespan of only 18-24 months.

​In Canada last year, 360,000 babies were born. If the average crib bought in Canada has a lifespan of around 2 years, how many cribs are ending up in landfills every year because they are too cheaply made to be repaired or safely resold?  We should all be concerned that every new baby results in another toxic environmental hazard.
​
The Right to Repair movement needs to be much more than a tech issue. 
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Crib Safety Regulations in Canada

1/31/2022

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A photo of a “modern crib” sold in the 1950s shows drop sides, bars spaced too far apart (requiring a dangerous baby bumper) and non-lockable wheels as potential sources of injury.          
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​The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission developed the first federal crib safety standards in 1973 in response to injuries and deaths due to babies slipping between the (unregulated) mattress and the crib, children falling out of cribs, or other unexplained crib deaths.

New guidelines, released in 2010, required all cribs to comply with national safety standards in the United States. In Canada, all crib manufacturers must follow Health Canada regulation SOR/2016-152 : Cribs, Cradles and Bassinets Regulations/Règlement sur les lits d’enfant, berceaux et moïses. These regulations are regularly reviewed and updated, and include manufacturer guidelines on bar spacing, crib depth, mattress use, consumer safety information, etc.

Unfortunately, manufacturers and distributors often sell products that do not meet these standards, or that go against Health Canada recommendations, so you should know what the regulations and recommendations are before you buy a crib.
​
Before you purchase your baby’s crib, get informed! 
 
www.healthycanadians.gc.ca
www.safekids.org
www.consumeraffairs.com
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How do I create a sleep routine for my baby?

12/6/2021

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Keeping in mind that complete exhaustion is a rite of passage for most new parents, there are ways to improve your baby’s sleep patterns. Here are some ways you can help your baby, and you, get a good night’s sleep….eventually!
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1. Have your baby sleep, separately, in your room.
2. Encourage good sleep habits: Establish a calm and consistent routine, with low stimulation activities in a softly lit room, before your child is too tired. Try to identify patterns with a journal and adapt as much as you can to your child’s schedule.
​3. Remember that this period won’t last forever!​ 
Have your baby sleep in your room
Many specialists recommend that a baby sleep in your room. This keeps them close, gives you easier access to them, and provides reassurance simply through your presence.

​The Mayo Clinic recommends the following:

Ideally, your baby should sleep in your room with you, but alone in a crib, bassinet or other structure designed for infants, for at least six months, and, if possible, up to one year. This might help decrease the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS).
Adult beds aren't safe for infants. A baby can become trapped and suffocate between the headboard slats, the space between the mattress and the bed frame, or the space between the mattress and the wall. A baby can also suffocate if a sleeping parent accidentally rolls over and covers the baby's nose and mouth.
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Encourage good sleep habits
The sooner you can establish a sleep routine, the better. But don’t forget that ¼ of babies and toddlers still don’t sleep the night (which means 6 hours of interrupted sleep) at 12 months of age, and every baby is different. However, a routine will reassure and comfort your child, even if it doesn’t immediately result in a full night of sleep.
What type of things can you do to develop a routine? Establish a calm, consistent routine that can include bathing, cuddling, singing or reading in a softly lit room, and have a defined end point when the activities are over and you leave the room. Be sure not to over-stimulate your baby and be sure you start the sleep routine before your child is not too tired.
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Did we make you yawn?
A trick we used to establish consistency (i.e., kept us from losing our minds due to exhaustion) was to write everything down to try to identify patterns (times for naps, bedtime, feedings, diaper changes, etc.). The first thing I learned from this was that it really wasn’t up to me. My babies needed what they needed when they needed it, and I had to adapt. By writing things down, however, it got to the point where I could predict a lot of what my baby needed before they got fussy, which also kept me from thinking I was about to get a break when in fact things were about to get really busy! My system was not 100% fool-proof, but it created consistency for my babies and gave me a sense that I had a bit of control over the chaos. The Canadian Paediatric Society recommends keeping a sleep diary for the same reason.
Don’t judge yourself or your baby if the sleep patterns in your household are different than others’. Your parenting skills are not reflected in your child’s sleep patterns, and being kind and patient toward your child and yourself will help you get through this challenging time.​

As always, if you think there is something you are concerned about or you need help, speak to your baby’s doctor.
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Want to read more?
Helping baby sleep through the night - Mayo Clinic
When Do Babies Sleep Through the Night? | Sleep Foundation
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So you think you bought a solid wood crib.....

12/1/2021

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It is really difficult to know exactly what you are buying when you purchase a crib. Many cribs are advertised as being made of “wood”, but this can mean very different things. In Canada, there are standards for saying something is “solid wood”:
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Solid wood logs.
Solid wood is the term used to describe wood-based materials that have been extracted from the trunk and further processed without mechanically altering the structure of the wood. The quality concept “solid wood” is strictly standardised, especially in the field of wooden furniture making. Only furniture with all parts (except rear panels and drawer bottoms) made of solid wood may be called solid wood furniture. If veneer (thin sheets of wood on a carrier material) is used for a piece of furniture, this must be indicated to the customer. (www.felder-group.com/en-ca/materials/solid-wood)
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Images of laminate, solid wood and engineered wood.
However, there are no such standards for saying something is made of “wood”. For example, MDF is “wood”, as are wood panels, plywood and fibreboard, which all contain a very toxic mix of chemicals to hold wood slices, chips or pieces together. All engineered wood products are created by taking pieces of wood and gluing them together. It is the chemical off-gassing of the glues and the energy-intensive manufacturing process that make the use of these products problematic for our health and the environment.
​Trying to get more information is difficult. I contacted a very well-known distributor of “wood” cribs available in Canadian big box stores and baby boutiques, and they told me that they didn’t even know what their cribs were made with, saying “Unfortunately, those specifications are not provided to us.” Another local high-end baby crib manufacturer markets their cribs as “solid wood” when they are in fact made of plywood and veneers.

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Plywood + veneer: commonly used in the manufacture of baby cribs.
And don’t be fooled by products such as “eco-plywood”, which can only claim less toxic off-gassing then its more toxic cousins. Aim for no off-gassing at all, and go for locally made, 100% solid wood, hand-made, naturally finished baby cribs!
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LuLé's 100% solid wood, all natural baby crib!
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Baby furniture, 1900-today

10/26/2021

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The baby furniture market didn’t exist until the mid-20th century, with the rise of the shopping mall. Before this, baby cribs were passed down in families, or babies slept wherever it was convenient: in boxes, in drawers, in bed with others, even in cages suspended outside of apartment windows! By the 1960s, big box stores attracted expecting parents with a less expensive offer that relied on an increasingly globalized supply chain. Around the 1990s, consumers started to experiment with online shopping and second-hand online markets, resulting in a decline in shopping mall sales and recognition of the value of using a product as opposed to ownership of a product (turning the idea of family heirlooms passed from generation-to-generation on its head). Today, new parents in North America can expect to spend an average of $15 000 on their new baby; and hopefully no more suspending their bundle of joy outside the window in a cage!
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In response to crowded tenement housing in industrializing cities, the early 1900s saw parents suspending their babies out of their apartment block windows inside of cages, in order to “air them out” (on the advice of child-rearing experts)! Photo: Getty Images.
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    As the founder of LuLé and a proud mom, I am passionate about helping you make the right decisions for your baby. All blog posts are based on information found on respected government or institutional websites, such as Health Canada.
    Happy reading!
    ​-Sara 

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